Well, there are many reasons. Know I'm not talking about hurtful, deceitful, painful lies. No! I'm talking about little white lies. The kind that most of you women reading this have also told your husbands. Oh, don't tell me that you are one of those perfect wives who have never told even a tiny little lie..... yeah right! Any way, here is one of the biggest lies that I have told my husband
"You were my first"
Do you think he believed that one? Keep in mind that I had kids when we met.
* Another lie:
"You are the best lover I ever had"
I do love him best of all so.... this may not be that big of a lie.
* Here is a hard lie to tell:
"You are the biggest I ever had"
Well, that one might actually be true. He is a black man... I'm just saying. When I go back and compare notes and pictures (yes, I have pictures. Don't you?) it's kind of hard to determine in one or two cases. Not that I had a lot to compare him with.
* Another lie:
"I love your mother"
I don't call her, I don't visit, I don't buy her gift on her birthday, Mother's day or Christmas, I avoid all contact but I love her.... really.
"I love your kids"
What I really love is the fact that they don't live with us.
"I absolutely love the present you bought me"
I will love it more when I take it back and get what I really want.
*Dangerous lie:
"I would never think of your best friend in that way"
I mean... Your friend is handsome, sexy, tall, and muscular. Not to mention I was initially attracted to him instead of you, but you know, why would I think of him in that way. I love you.
* Get out of sex free lie:
"My stomach hurt"
"My head hurt"
"I tired, rough day at work"
" I got my period" with this lie sometimes it takes some convincing. For instance, a few times I had to put hot sauce on a tampon (ketchup doesn't absorb as well on the tampon) and plant it in the trash in plain view, then insert one just for effects so that he would adhere to the red light. I know, a little extreme but it works. You're telling me you've never done that.
*Another lie:
"Oh I don't mind kissing you before you brush away your morning breathe"
OMG... some lies can kill you. A man's morning breathe aint no joke especially depending on what he did the night before.
*The usual lie:
"Yes, I already came"
I really didn't but it would be too much work to get him going again so I just... lie.
*More lies:
"Sex last night was great"
Even though I didn't come nor did we cuddle after nor did you stay awake long enough to listen to what I had to say. So... yeah it was great
"I don't mind you having female friends"
Just as long as he has a penis hanging between his legs that is not attached to you.
"I don't have any money"
Except the couple hundreds I have stashed in a secret bank account that you don't know about.
* Lies without purpose
"I forgot"
I forgot to pay the electric bill. I couldn't pass up buying the shoes I have hidden in the closet, that I bought with the electric bill money.
I forgot you said you were coming home early. I got so busy on facebook that I didn't get a chance to cook dinner.
I forgot to buy groceries. My girl friends and I went out to lunch and I spent the grocery money on...lunch.
I forgot to pay the car insurance. That's why you got a ticket and the car got towed. Sorry.
I forgot you said you wanted to make love. I would never have pretended to fall asleep on the couche reading the bible.
I know what you're thinking. Does she ever tell him the truth? The answer is YES. I always tell him how much I love him. I always tell him how much I appreciate him. I always tell him how much I need him. These things are all TRUE. You have to love a man who would put up with someone like me. The only reason I lie to him is because... I love him. Honest...I do.
Leave me a comment about some of the lies you tell your husband or your man.
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